


Angus' Adventures in Wonderland

by Dareandwriteit



Series: Angus and Wonderland [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Gen, Suffering Game Spoilers, Suffering is the right word unfortunately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dareandwriteit/pseuds/Dareandwriteit
Summary: Angus falls down the rabbit hole in search of what he truly desires: the Tres Horny Boys safe and sound.





	1. Down the Rabbit Hole

There was something wrong, Angus was sure of it.

The Reclaimers had been gone for a few hours, not long enough to be worried yet. He was worried anyway. They’d taken longer getting the philosopher’s stone, even though it didn’t feel that way. Maybe part of it was the fact they didn’t call this time. Part of it was that they knew what Wonderland was capable of.

Madam Director had been very honest with Angus. He could tell she hadn’t wanted to be, the way her eyes didn’t quite meet his when she told him that Wonderland demanded sacrifices. That if they came back (she was very specific about if) they may not be the same. They needed Angus to be at his best. Ready with answers. Unemotional. Calm.

Angus had called them, just to check in. There was no response. The Director assured him that this was nothing unexpected. But her eyes still didn’t quite meet his. She told him she needed to retire to her study to find more details on Wonderland. Angus pretended that he believed her. He called them a few more times, trying to remain professional.

“Sirs? Please report in, Sirs.”

He wouldn’t let himself say anything else. He couldn’t trust himself. Anything else would be too much. He wouldn’t be able to stop, and he would let them down. Maybe it was better that they weren’t answering while he was so upset.

He set the stone down on the desk in front of him. He put some of his books in front of it, and tried to read. 

The words didn’t make any sense. He read them anyway.

After a few minutes, the stone jumped into life.

The stone of far speech was flashing in bright neon lights, buzzing away with high tempo dance music. Angus didn’t think that it could do that. His hand was over the stone, but he hesitated to pick it up. He thought about the director, and how scared she’d been about Wonderland. Maybe he needed her help.

No. She’d told him to be professional, and that was what he was going to be.

“Hello Sirs, Angus here. How can I help you with Wonderland?”

“Oh, isn’t he sweet!” A female voice came through the stone, exuding cool confidence. The dance music didn’t let up. It was difficult to make out what she was staying up. “I could just eat him up.”

“Isn’t a bit a early for that sis?” A male voice, much like the woman’s. They tittered together, and something about the laugh made Angus feel cold. He wasn't sure what to say. He was stuttering, unable to push past the fact that these voices were not the ones that he expected.

“I-I-I…” The male voice mocked him, “did we see this one already? I think he's broken.”

“Not at all! This one still has something he wants.”

Angus swallowed hard, and finally spoke. “Whose frequency is this?”

“Wonderland, darling. And it is wonderful,” said the woman.

“Your friends just love it. They don’t want to leave,” said the man.

Angus was shaking. He knew they were lying, but the worst part was that they didn’t care that he knew that. They could have said that they were holding Taako, Magnus and Merle prisoner, or torturing them, and it wouldn’t have sounded any different.

“You know, the party isn’t over. They’d love to show you around,” said the man.

“Consider this your invitation, Angus,” said the woman. “Ciao!”

The stone didn’t stop flashing, but the music and voices faded. Angus stared at the strobing light as he tried to think rationally. He thought about the Director in the run up to this mission. How hard she’d been pushing Magnus and Taako and Merle in training, and how she still didn’t think it would be enough. The way she’d been playing with her hair. The fact she told him to say goodbye properly.

He hadn’t said goodbye properly. They were going to come back with the Animus Bell, and that was that. There were no guarantees, but Angus was going to make sure of it.

Angus packed a small bag of items: a few spell components, food, water, paper and pencils. He put his stone of farspeech in his pocket. He walked as calmly as he could manage to the hangar.

It was relatively empty: the only person waiting around was Avi. He was keeping his focus out on the world below, apparently still waiting for the sphere in the Felicity Wilds to return. He didn’t even notice Angus sneak into the sphere at the end of the room. He noticed it launching out of the bay, and yelled something that Angus didn’t hear.

Angus had never operated a sphere alone before. He held the brake lever tight, and tested how much strength he needed to pull it. He could pull it right away, pitch down somewhere close to Fandolin. The Director would be furious with him, but he wouldn’t have to go to Wonderland. He could still say no. He was terrified. He didn’t want to do it.

The bright neon light was still flashing from the stone of far speech. Angus could still see it through the fabric. He was amazed that no-one else had noticed it. It made his head hurt.

He landed in the Felicity Wilds without issue. It helped that a team had come through so soon before him: the beasts that lurked among the trees hadn’t yet built up the confidence to return to the path. He had worried it would be hard to find his way to Wonderland among all the trees, but the path was easy to find.

It was deliberately easy to find.

He considered calling the Bureau when he came across a billboard. It was a gaudy affair, shiny and neon to a degree that made it hard to look at. There was a phrase written across the top of the board in pink cursive lettering.

“The party you seek is in Wonderland!”

And beneath it, there was a picture. Magnus was in the middle, carrying Taako on one shoulder and Merle on the other. They were smiling and laughing. Taako held a bell which Angus recognised as the Animus Bell daintily in one hand. Angus felt his breath catch in his throat. He held onto his stone of far speech tighter, and continued down the path.

Wonderland didn’t look how Angus expected it to. It was a great circus tent, flickering through black and white panels with such speed it made Angus feel slightly nauseous. It stopped as he approached. On top of the newly made door, there was a plaque which said “ANGUS MCDONALD”.

Angus hesitated for a second, and walked inside. The darkness swallowed him whole.

He knew the door was gone. He could feel the breeze vanish, but he couldn’t put his finger on how. The darkness was crushing, and Angus stumbled blindly through the room. He took his stone of far speech from his pocket, hoping the flashing would guide his way.

The second he held it up, the room burst into light in time with it. The chequerboard of bright colours flashed in time to music, and Angus threw his hands to his face to protect his eyes. He could feel the beat pounding through his brain, rattling his teeth. When his eyes finally adjusted, he looked up and saw two elves dancing on a platform in front of him. The music reached a natural stop, and the two struck a pose as though expecting applause.

Angus didn’t clap.

“What a clever young man! You made the Wilds seem like a piece of cake.” The male elf said, his smile sharp and bright.

“And so handsome! It’s no wonder you came seeking us.” The female elf said, leaning off the platform and pinching Angus’ cheek. It hurt more than it was supposed to, and Angus stepped away from her.

“Ma’am, I’m here to retrieve my friends.” Angus said, standing ramrod straight. He was bowed slightly, in an attempt to make a good impression.

“Of course. And you asked so politely, I do wish it could be so simple. Don’t you, Edward?” The female elf sighed dramatically.

“Lydia, you know we can’t make exceptions. That’s just no fun!” Edward leaned against her, completing the dramatic pose.

“In order to earn your prize, you need to do just that. Earn it! You give a little to gain a lot. I’m sure you see the sense in that, detective?” Lydia said, as the platform they were on lowered slowly.

“This little game is called the Wheel of Sacrifice. Nothing too difficult. Your friends did so well, I’m sure we can expect you to breeze right through it.” Edward said, stepping off the platform with Lydia.

Angus had stand on his tiptoes to see what was on the wheel. It was slightly too tall for him. He took note of the different symbols: an eye, a body, a skull, a brain, a backpack, a hand, two crossed swords, a clock, and a question mark.

He didn’t have to think about how terrible they could be for him. He thought about how badly each of them could hurt the Reclaimers. What if Taako lost his umbrella? Or if Magnus lost a hand? Or Merle forgot who Pan was? 

Angus grabbed the wheel, and spun as hard as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I would like some idea of what you want Angus to spin. All of the choices are interesting, so I don't know what to start with.
> 
> Comment with eye, body, skull, brain, backpack, hand, two crossed swords, clock, or question mark if you want to see it!
> 
> (Any comments/suggestions at all are very welcome.)


	2. Player One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angus makes the first sacrifice of many, and enters what could be his last fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violence, blood and mentions of dyslexia (which I don't know if it needs tagging, but here we are).

“Eye.” Angus said, solemnly. Without thinking, Angus placed a hand on his glasses. The metal was cold under his fingers, and he quickly put his hands down by his sides.

“Ooh, that’s a popular one today! Your little dwarf friend… Oh, that’s not important,” Edward said, with a wolfish smile.

“It’s such a shame your peepers are already a little tired dear. With those nerdy little spectacles, they aren’t much use to anybody.” Lydia said, placing a hand on Angus’ shoulder. Angus jumped, stepping away from her.

“How about this? Instead than hurting your poor little eyes, we… change the way you see some things. If you accept this sacrifice, you’re going to have some trouble reading.” Edward said.

“I’m… But… Reading is very important to me!” Angus protested. He noticed a small plume of black smoke rise out of his mouth with his complaint, and followed its trajectory up into the ceiling. Lydia and Edward shared a glance as they noticed Angus’ gaze. Angus quickly turned his attention back to the wheel.

“It’s nothing too heavy right away, Angus. The game would be over too quickly, and that’s just no fun. You want to see your friends, right?” Lydia said.

Angus nodded, thoughtfully.

“It’s just a little inconvenient. Easy peasy. We’re only just getting started!” Edward said.

Angus looked down at the wheel.

“What happens if I say no?”

“A penalty.” Edward and Lydia said together.

Angus thought for a moment.

“Accepted.”

It was instant. It didn’t hurt, which was a relief. His eyes went out of focus for a second, but a quick blink cleared the fuzziness. There were no words written anywhere, and Angus felt a cold panic. Was writing invisible to him now?

“Am I ok?” Angus asked, another burst of black smoke floating from his mouth. He resisted the urge to clap his hands over his mouth.

“You’re just peachy Angus! You’re moving onto the next stage already. You’ll be back with your friends before you know it.” Lydia’s voice echoed through the room, but as Angus looked around she was gone. He was alone in the room.

A door opened in the wall, leaving a solid black hole ahead of him. Angus wrung his hands, and continued on.

The next room was much the same. Instead of a wheel, there was a pedestal with two large buttons. Angus walked over and looked over the buttons. One was red and one was green. They had words on them.

The green one said: TRUST  
The red one said: FORSAKE

Or at least, Angus was pretty sure that was what they said. It wasn’t that it was impossible to read. But the letters didn’t quite behave the way they were supposed to. The words didn’t form instantly. The “t” looked like an “l”, and the “e” looked liked an “a”.

It dawned on Angus that what he had was dyslexia. Or at least something a lot like it. And it was strangely a relief.

There were lots of people who had dyslexia. Angus had even suspected that Magnus might have it. But he got on ok, and it never seemed to bother him. People with dyslexia read books, it just might take a little longer. There were dozens of different things that could help with dyslexia: coloured screens, and spells to make words bigger and clearer. 

He was still smart, and he was still Angus.

As sacrifices went, it could have hurt far, far more.

“Now Angus, you’ve got a much better head on your shoulders than your friends. I’m sure you understand Game Theory. Here’s how it goes. You both hit trust? An easy fight for you. You both hit forsake? A fairly tricky fight. You hit trust and they hit forsake? Hardest difficulty for you, no fight for them. You hit forsake and they hit trust? No fight for you, very tricky fight for them. You got it, boy wonder?”

Lydia had spoken very fast, but Angus quickly pulled out his paper from his bag. He sketched out a quick grid of the options. Game Theory was a common thing in interrogation situations, so it wasn’t a new concept to him. It was easy to see that the best option was to hit forsake. It would hurt the other team, but they probably had more people on their team. They had a much better chance to survive a fight than Angus.

But Angus hesitated on the button. It might be his friends we was up against. It seemed like the kind of trick these elves would play, to try and make him suffer. They’d already been there for hours, and a terrible fight would be more than they could risk.

Angus hit TRUST.

And as the wall lit up with more words he struggled to read, Angus felt like he’d made a mistake.

YOU CHOSE: TRUST  
THEY CHOSE: FORSAKE

“Dunk.” Angus said quietly, releasing some black smoke alongside it.

“Lucky you! You get to play the hard mode. Only our most skilled contestants get a chance at that. You really do follow after your friends.” Edward’s voice echoed around as Angus walked out of the room and into the next.

Another circular room, with a small plinth in the middle. On top of it there were three wooden dice, with all kinds of symbols on them.

“Roll the dice, darling.” Lydia’s voice seemed to be coming from right behind Angus, but there was no-one there. Determined not to let any more black smoke escape him, Angus seized the dice and rolled them confidently.

The first one said GIANT.  
The second one said ARMOURED.  
The third one said TREANT.

And in a torrent of black smoke, the plinth vanished and was replaced by giant armoured treant. The tree was old, twisted black bark forming into gnarled arms and legs. Long strands of leaves hung like the ends of a whip, making it seem formless and endless.

Angus was not a very strong person. He was not particularly fast. He typically relied on stealth, and having stronger party members nearby. But Angus knew how to avoid taking a hit.

He rolled sideways immediately, narrowly avoiding the barbed wooden arm of the monster. He pointed his arm up, and fired a crossbow bolt from his wrist crossbow. The bolt bounced harmlessly off the body, with a light _clink_ that suggested there was metal armour somewhere beneath the leaves.

And then Angus was thrown across the room by a thorn whip. He hit the wall and bounced off, feeling something in his chest make a distinct snap. But he was already moving as he reached the ground, preparing a magic missile spell.

It was an easy spell, one which Angus had been practicing. But it was useless when the missiles missed. The treant’s vines swept at Angus’ ankles, scraping his knees and sending his balance off. The three pin’s spun past his target of the treant's eyes. It hit the creature's thick arm like raindrops, failing to make a mark.

Angus hit the floor hard, headbutting the ground so hard he saw stars. He could taste something metallic. His ears were ringing terribly. His hands were shaking, and with a start he realised they were wet with blood. Black smoke was billowing out of his mouth like a chimney. But he wasn’t going to cry.

With all the energy he could muster, Angus pointed his wand up at the monster and sent off a half decent fireball. He could see immediately that it was going to hit armour and do nothing. But he stared up and willed, hoped the spell would somehow phase through it.

It did.

The treant screamed as fire consumed it’s body, reducing it to ash almost instantly. Black smoke poured from it in a dark storm, and Angus could swear that it was not all from the fire. From the flames, he could see parts of the armour and monster reduce to smoke, almost as though it was being unmade at the heart of its very being.

The acrid smoke was overwhelming, making Angus cough and his eyes water. He felt faint, trying to ignore the blood covering his hands and dripping from his nose. He got onto his knees, and forced himself to breathe. He gripped his wand as tight as he could, running his fingers over the reassuring grooves.

“Excellent work Angus!” A flamboyant voice echoed around the chamber, “You get another chance with the wheel of sacrifice!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill: suggest what you want from the wheel or the fights!
> 
> Two spins this round, and the stakes are rising.
> 
> (Forgive me if I didn't get the Game Theory stuff right, I have repressed my economics exams.)


	3. Thumbs Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angus tries to stay positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Blood, some mention of teeth being lost, scars and stitches. None are massively explicit.

Angus had no strength to stand. He looked blearily at the wall in front of him for a second, before rummaging through his bag and taking out a small health potion. He lifted it up to his lips, wincing at the horrible smell. He drank it in one, and felt some of his bruises fade. He slowly pulled himself to his feet.

“Oh dear. Another cheater.” Lydia’s voice echoed through the room. “What kind of sacrifice is a fight that you can just… get better from?”

Angus felt a cold chill rush over him. And then pain. So much pain.

Black smoke was swimming around his eyes. He felt his bruises bloom into being, and his cuts reopen. He fell back to his knees again, struggling to concentrate past the pulsing light in his eyes. He hated the smoke more than the pain. He forced himself not to hurt.

“And now we get to see the lucky contestants who treated you to such a match!” Edward’s voice made the wall in front of Angus light up, showing a trio of adventurers in a room similar to Angus’. Angus forced his eyes up from the floor, hoping to see someone familiar.

He didn’t recognise two of them. An elven woman with purple hair and a young man who looked like seasoned adventurers, who were yelling furiously at a third man. Angus recognised the third figure with a start. Lord Artemis Sterling, Ruler of Neverwinter. Black smoke surrounded the three of them as they screamed at one another, gesturing violently towards Angus. They didn’t seem happy about Sterling forsaking a kid.

Angus was angry, at first. But the black smoke this seemed to create was suspicious. Angus decided to give the elves as little black smoke as possible. He got to his feet carefully, straightened his cap and then gave the group two thumbs up. He gave his best smile, wiping away the blood at his chin as though it was nothing more than a spill.

The trio stopped talking, confused. The black smoke around them began dispel. The elven woman and the unknown man both began to give a thumbs up back, with some uncertainty. Then the screen turned off.

“Come on, kid. No time to waste.” Edward’s voice wasn’t as happy as it had been before that. And that made Angus a little more confident as he stepped through to the next room.

The wheel was there, once again. But this time, Edward and Lydia were nowhere to be seen.

“Now we’re entering the trickier levels Angus, and quite frankly, I don’t think your little twig body will make it. One fight really messed you up there, and you don’t have any friends to lend you health so… We’re bending the rules slightly.” Edward’s voice said.

“Why?” Angus asked, in a voice that implied he didn’t really care. There probably was no good reason.

“Because we want to see you succeed, kid detective! We’re rooting for you.” Lydia’s voice was sickly sweet. “For every extra spin you take, you’ll get a few hit points back. And who knows, maybe a few those will go towards your friends.”

Suddenly Lydia was whispering, close to Angus’ ear. “I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but they really aren’t fairing so well. That wizard took being crushed rather badly…”

Angus suppressed his urge to jump from Lydia’s voice, and spun the wheel with as neutral an expression as he could manage.

“Swords.” Angus said. He kept one arm wrapped around his middle, as though it would minimise the bleeding. The swords didn’t scare him so much when he was doing that.

“Hmm. The problem is Angus, you’re very young. You haven’t had many fights, and quite frankly, I don’t envision many in your future.” Lydia said, thoughtfully. “How about this? Instead of making you lose a past fight, you… come out a little worse for wear from one. If you accept this sacrifice, you’ll have come out of a past fight poorly.”

“Which one?” Angus asked.

“Guess you’ll have to find out.” Edward said.

Angus thought over the fights he’d had. A few minor scuffles, one or two more monstrous enemies that adults had swooped in and killed. There were no fights where Angus had landed the final blow, had been the difference between life and death.

“Would this hurt other people?”

“Please, Angus, this is _your_ punishment.” 

“That’s a very unhelpful response.” Angus said, scowling as he emitted some black smoke. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

Angus felt his teeth shift in his mouth. It was painless, and subtle, but it happened. When he put a hand up his mouth, he felt a small scar run across his lips diagonally. He had a few adult teeth where baby teeth had been. And suddenly, he remembered how it happened.

The Rockport Limited. Taako had thrown him off the train so he hadn’t been caught in the crash. He’d lost one or two teeth and given him a thumbs up before the train vanished into Jenkins’ garden. Except, that wasn’t what had happened anymore. Taako had mistimed his throw. Angus had hit the signal box hard, unconscious before he hit the ground. He split his lip in a way that required stitches and lost several baby teeth early, his adult teeth growing in a slightly off angles. 

Taako’s joke that he’d thought Angus had died on the train hadn’t felt like a joke this time. It was very nearly true.

The door in front of Angus opened, but he ignored it. Before he could convince himself to move forward he spun again. He didn’t want to give the elves time to speak.

“Clock.”

“Now there’s an interesting one! Especially for someone so young. We can’t really skip time for you Angus: eleven to twenty one? Not the same as thirty two to forty two. A much bigger sacrifice, losing your childhood.” Edward said.

“How about you lose something that diminishes with time? Beauty wouldn’t mean a thing to you: but your memory? That’s a far different thing. If you accept this, you won’t forget everything… It will just take a little more effort to hold on, is all. Someone as brainy as you, this should be a cakewalk.” Lydia said.

Angus hesitated with this. Memory was a tricky thing. Between working for an organisation who prided themselves on erasing memory, and a grandfather who could barely remember his own name, memory was valuable. 

“How much will I heal?” 

“For something this valuable? Around ¾ full Angus. But don’t go telling anyone.” Lydia said. “We’ll even throw in a healing game for your wizard friend.”

Angus thought about it very hard.

“Accepted.”

He didn’t feel any different, except for a slight fuzziness behind the eyes and a little less pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the wheel spins on! The boys will be here soon, but Angus has one or two more challenges ahead before that can happen.
> 
> Suggest away!


	4. Family or feud

Angus walked through the door to the next room with singular determination. He had healed, he knew this, but it didn’t feel like it. He felt phantom pains shooting through him in scattered waves, the memory of his injuries flickering in and out of existence. His pace was slow, but consistent. He didn’t stop, not for them.

When Angus saw the pedestal with two buttons, he didn’t think about it. He marched right over to it, and slammed a hand down on “Forsake”. It was the best option, mathematically. Logically. There was no ill will to it. He knew that Taako would do the same, that Merle would do the same. And if he did put them in a fight, he could always do some more sacrifices and heal them. It was the smart thing to do.

He pretended not to care when the words YOU CHOSE FORSAKE flashed up in front of him, or when Lydia cooed over him being an “eager beaver” and Edward approved of him really getting into the game. He especially tried to ignore the thin wisps of black smoke that spiralled up from his mouth when he gasped at the second line.

THEY CHOSE TRUST

“Congratulations Angus! There’s no fight for you this round, and let’s be honest, we were all hoping for that. Seeing little baby boy you, fighting monsters. It’s cute, but it’s getting old darling. So last season, we needed something fresh.” Lydia’s voice rang through the room, seemingly coming through the newly open door.

Angus didn’t acknowledge this, chosing to ignore everything they said from this point on. All they were saying were tools of suffering, it was attempts to make him feel bad. So if he stopped listening, they’d stopped hurting. He kept his mind on his breathing, and walked through to the next room with as little on his mind as possible.

The room was black, a tangible darkness that Angus stumbled through with difficulty. He half expected a hit to fly in from nowhere, but he remembered after a moment of reflection that it wasn’t a fighting round. His memory was already being difficult, only catching things that were slipping through at the last second. He’d have to stay on his toes to not lose every little thing, and it was already more work than he wanted.

Angus tripped on something small in front of him, and held out his hands to catch himself. Angus landed sideways on something long and soft that felt suspiciously like a couch. Suddenly bright light filled the room, stinging Angus’ eyes terribly. He wiped the back of his arm across his face, grimacing as streaks of blood from his sleeves smeared onto his cheeks. Before he could see, he heard the twins voices coming through speakers nearby.

“Live from the labyrinthian depths of Wonderland, welcome everyone to ‘Family or Feud?’ And here’s your hosts: Lydia and Edward!”

And sure enough, they were standing there, posing to an audience Angus could only just make out through the lights. Angus realised he was lying on a chaise lounge, and the two elves were dressed in doctor’s coats. He noticed with a small twinge of embarrassment that they were wearing the same glasses as him.

Angus pushed himself upright, but found himself falling back onto the soft fabric. His arms were weak, and he was tired, and it was just easier to lie down. Just for now. Just for a second.

“Thanks to his good choices in the last room, Angus has won the full ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ session. And with all the experience we have, you know he’s in good hands!” Edward said this, to the uproarious laughter of the audience.

“What-” Angus began, but Lydia put a finger on his lips.

“This round, we’re having a look at your past. Specifically your family, Angus!” Lydia said with a smile. Angus felt his blood run cold, and he tensed all over.

“Don’t you think it’s strange that he’s running in here after people that aren’t even his family? And you’ve seen those idiots, how bad were the people they’re replacing?” Edward said this to the audience, earning another wave of laughter from them.

“They-” Angus voice croaked, as he realised the eyes of the room fell on him. Lydia pressed a microphone towards Angus’ face, and he cleared his throat. “The Bureau are my family.”

Angus blushed as the crowd said “awww” in an overwhelming wave, pressing his hands against his face. He hated the hot lights that shone down on him, he felt like an insect under a magnifying glass.

“But what about your _real_ father Angus?” Lydia asked.

Angus shifted in his seat. “I… I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Come now, Angus. You still have to play the round,” Lydia said

“But… I thought I won the last one?”

“You don’t have to fight, but you still have to play,” Edward said, with a nod

“What happens if I don’t talk about him?” Angus said.

“Then you don’t get to continue.” Edward sounded surprised.

Angus groaned, and groaned again at the sight of black smoke coming from his mouth. He rubbed at his face, and gave a nod to the two of them.

“Come now Angus, let’s make it a game! That’s what the audience wants. We’ll ask you a question, and if your answer pleases our audience, you’ll get a bonus!” Lydia enthused him, eyes on the audience.

“What’s the bonus?” Angus asked, microphone shoved into his face halfway through his sentence.

“A surprise! Isn’t that fun?” Lydia said, earning a round of applause from the audience. 

“Woohoo.” Angus said dryly.

“First question. Any easy one. Who is your favourite family member?” Edward asked, reading off a bright pink note card that had appeared in his hand in an instant.

“I… uh…” Angus’ hesitation turned into buzzing feedback over the speakers. It was wrong to value some family above others. But if he was honest, it would be over sooner. “My grandfather.”

“Not your parents?” Lydia said with curiosity.

“N-no.” Angus said, watching black smoke rise from his mouth as the audience erupted into a chorus of “ooh’s”. 

“There must be a reason for that. And we’re just _dying_ to know.” Edward said this, leaning close to Angus with a flourish.

“My mother passed away when I was born.” Angus said, looking down at his hands. “I never knew her.”

Edward threw a hand to his mouth in a mock sign of embarrassment. “Me and my big mouth! How terrible!”

“Imagine it, going through all the grossness of pregnancy only for the little parasite to bump you off. That poor woman.” Lydia spoke in an exaggerated stage whisper, hiding her mouth behind her hand but placing her microphone beside it. Angus pretended not to hear, and pointedly ignored the black smoke trailing from his mouth.

“At least your father was there.” Edward said, patting Angus on the shoulder in a way he hoped was reassuring. The hand was cold, and felt as though it was composed of nothing but bones. Angus said nothing.

“He was there, wasn’t he Angus?” Lydia asked, eyebrow raised.

“K-kind of.” Angus said, wrestling with his fingers.

“Kind of?” Lydia repeated. 

“He gave me a house, and food, and he raised me. I love him.” Angus recited the statement he hadn’t had to say for several years.

Bright red lights flashed on and off around Angus, and he was assaulted with the sound of klaxons and the audience booing. He flinched, and pressed his hands to ears, looking around in a panic. The sound cut off abruptly.

“Now Angus. You shouldn’t lie to your doctors. We’re here to look after you.” Edward said.

“I doubt it.” Angus muttered under his breath.

“Be honest for our next question. Who’s hurt you the most in your life?” Lydia read off her own note card, a luminous yellow.

“Apart from us of course.” Edward tittered, echoed by the audience.

“My enemies.” Angus said, with a smirk. The alarms went off again, Angus clapping his hands on his ears.

“The Reclaimers.” Angus said, raising his voice above the noise. That was believable enough, they bullied him mercilessly. He couldn't remember exactly how right now, but he knew they had. Surely that created enough enough suffering for them, it was ironic and sad. He wanted them back and all they did was hurt him. 

Did he even want them back?

The klaxons doubled in intensity, the lights strobing with red and white at a nauseating rate. The audience were chanting something that Angus could only just make out over the klaxon, the word “lies, lies, lies” over and over again.

“My dad! It was my dad!” The lights and sirens were letting up, but they kept echoing around Angus’ head and they just wouldn’t _stop_ so kept going. “He was always blaming me for everything, for the detective work, for his money drying up, for getting hurt and being hungry and for being there instead of my mom! And he’d cart me out in front of everyone, show me off like another stupid painting to people that he could brag about. Tell everyone how smart I was and how proud he was for how well he did and the second they were gone, he would… he would…”

Angus realised the alarm had stopped. He wasn’t sure how long it had been stopped, and he realised he was shaking and that black smoke was smothering all that he could see. Edward and Lydia had vanished, and in their place stood a single silhouette. It was facing away from him, slowly pulling itself to it’s full height.

Angus felt his heart plummet as Edward’s voice rang out through the room. “And now seems like a very good time to introduce our special celebrity guest-”

The silhouette turned and Angus felt his body turn to lead. It seemed all too familiar, a face which he saw a near perfect duplicate of everyday. The same thick curls that he wrestled with everyday, the same lanky legs Angus was developing himself.

“Give a warm welcome to the original Mister McDonald, Angus’ very own sweet papa: Gregor McDonald!”

“What have you been saying about me, you worthless little rat?!” Gregor yelled, beginning to cross the room towards Angus. He was clenching his hands in that way he always did just before things started. Angus fell backwards off the sofa, bashing his head on the floor as he scrambled away. His limbs still felt like they couldn’t move. He realised with a panic that may not have been exhaustion at all, that it was something the liches had done.

Black smoke was pouring out of Angus, like a factory chimney escaping from his face.

His father's pace was slow, and Angus almost wished he was faster. Angus cried, and he babbled, and he wished he could just calm down but he couldn’t remember how he usually stayed calm. What was the breathing technique? How did he breathe?

The walking continued.

Step.  
Step.  
Step.

And then, silence.

Angus wished he could remember, and he wished he could forget.

The hands came over the sofa, grabbing Angus by his shirt. He was pulled up onto his feet and then further, suspended nose to nose with his dad.

“What have you been telling people? Have you been snooping again?”

“No, no, I swear!” Angus gasped, struggling to speak for all the black smoke rushing out of him.

“I gave you everything, and you fucking replace me? Am I that fucking worthless to you?”

“Sir, I- I-” Angus felt his head swim. There was so much smoke. He felt like it was poisoning his blood, it was entangling his bones, it was drowning his brain. Angus placed a hand on his father's, though whether it was to pull away or try to comfort him he wasn’t sure. The fingers looked real, they had the same manicured fingernails and uncleaned wedding ring. They felt wooden, as though they were something as brittle and lifeless as the wand hanging from Angus’ neck.

And then Angus woke up.

He didn’t know if he’d passed out. He assumed he must have, since he was in a different room entirely. It was empty. No audience, no wheel, no buttons. Angus was lying on the ground, face into the cold metal floor. 

With no challenge ahead, he made himself content with laying there, waiting for the smoke to dispel. It felt like it was burned into skin now, and tangled in his hair. It was hard to notice, it had no presence in the way the real smoke did. He couldn’t wave it away or feel it. But he could swear it smelled ever so slightly of decay.

“Welcome back, Angus!” The elves voices emanate from everywhere in the room. “The audience loved you, family drama is such a ratings grabber. And so, we thought we’d give you a prize.”

“A prize?” Angus dragged himself to a sitting position, looking around with great suspicion.

“Well, two thirds of a prize.” Edward conceded. “They’re leftovers from an earlier round.”

“We were just going to throw them away, so we thought you might as well have them.” Lydia said, and with a sharp snap the ceiling opened and dumped a great deal down into the room.

The first thing Angus noticed was dozens of mannequins, and he realised that his father must have been one that had illusion magic on it. He felt kind of stupid for not realising that sooner. And then he noticed two things were on top of the mannequins.

A dwarf, with a wooden arm and a bible strapped to his waist. A elf, who held umbrella in one hand and was flipping everyone off with the other.

He noticed the next few things in quick succession.

There was a lot of blood around them. Taako looked… different. Not bad, just off. Merle had an eyepatch under his glasses. Taako was hunched over, holding his middle with an intense grip. Merle wasn’t moving. Magnus wasn’t with them at all.

“Congratulations!” The elves voices said, with an absolute edge to them. “They’re all yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back in town!
> 
> Expect more regular updates from me on this, and thanks to a-dragons-rose and PetalSpitter for bouncing ideas with me.
> 
> I have pretty solidified idea of what the next spins will be but if you really want a specific spin, feel free to leave it.


	5. Spin after spin

Angus got up to his feet, moving without thinking about it. He waded through the pile of mannequins, trying to pull them aside as he rushed over the wooden bodies. He couldn’t move fast enough, his feet slipping on unsure footing. But he needed to check on Merle, he needed to make sure he wasn’t-

“Stop.”

Angus looked up, and directly into the tip of the umbra staff umbrella, glowing with a newly prepared spell. Angus stopped his approach, taking a step away from Merle's still body.

“What the fuck kinda game is this?” Taako said, spitting some blood on the floor next to him. He was lying on his front, still curled up with an arm close to his middle. “You think after all that shit, throwing the boy blunder at me is going to mean shit to me? I maybe be dumb but I ain’t gullible.”

“It’s me, it’s Angus.” Angus said, taking another step away.

“Yeah. Just like that other mannequin was Jenkins, or a fucking worm. It’s getting old, and to be honest, you need some new material.” Taako said, trying to lift the umbra staff from the ground and wincing in pain.

“But it really is me Sir, I came to save you!” Angus tried to take a step towards him, but stepped on a mannequin arm and slipped.

“I swear to god, come any closer and I’ll blast your fucking head off.” Taako said, the umbra staff glowing even brighter.

“T-Tayko.” Angus realised he’d remembered the name wrong a second too late, “I-I mean Taako! Please, I’m here to help you.”

Taako pulled himself up using the umbra staff as a cane, but its' tip didn’t find purchase and he fell to the ground. The sound of pain that was wrenched from Taako pierced through Angus’ heart. He rushed forward without thinking, going to grab Taako’s arm to try and assess his injury. But it was obvious before he even got close enough to touch him that there was nothing he could do. Taako was unconscious, umbra staff rolling loosely out of his hand. There was so much blood. It was all over Angus’ palms and his shins. 

He'd been through all this, and he was too late.

He wasn’t going to lose when he was so close.

“Give me a Wheel of Sacrifice.” Angus said, getting up from Taakos side.

“I’m sorry dear?” Lydia’s voice came through the speaker, seemingly surprised.

“You said I could heal them when I did extra spins before, so I assume you’ll allow it again?” Angus continued, taking off his blood stained jacket and placing it across Taakos heavily bleeding stomach.

“You _want_ to play some more?” Lydia asked.

“Don’t you want me to, ma’am?” Angus asked as sweetly as he could manage, and walked across the room to the newly formed wheel.

“Alright. You’re the boss. Each spin will heal as much as I decide the sacrifice is worth. Oooh, this is a nice one. I think it will be fun.” Lydia said, a few claps of excitement punctuating her speech.

Angus spun the wheel before it was even lifted to its full height.

“Skull.” Angus said, cursing such a dangerous spin right off the bat.

“You’re going to have some bad luck in future if you take that Angus. Could be anything. Luck is such a fickle thing.”

“Oh. Fine.” Angus was relieved the punishment was lighter than he expected. He could still give more. The heal that was given was tiny, as he thought it might be since nothing changed for him. Taako groaned in his unconscious state.

Angus spun again.

“Backpack.”

Before Lydia could even speak, Angus took his bag off his back and dumped its' contents on the floor. “Take whatever you want, ma’am.”

“Good enthusiasm Angus. But I don’t want any of your little boy garbage. I want…”

The lanyard on Angus’ neck pulled taut as his wand floated up in front of him.

“My wand?” Angus asked, quickly grabbing it in his hands. It was difficult. It was his wand, it meant everything to him. It was his only way of defending himself, and he’d earned it from the fantasy goshapon when he first joined the Bureau. It was fate that this wand was his, he’d gotten it from something that relied on the principles of destiny. He got the coin for… for investigating the Bureau?

But if he had Taako and Merle, they could protect him. He was almost sure of it.

Angus pulled the lanyard up over his head, and placed the wand on the wheel.

A spectral hand formed over it, ready to pull it into non-existence. But as it touched the wand, the hand flinched, pulling back. There was a small hole in it, as though someone had poked it sharply with a knitting needle.

“If you’re going to be like that, I’ll take something else…” Lydia said with a harsh voice. “Gimme that dumb bracer. It’ll look nice with this outfit.”

Angus looked at his Bureau bracer. Same issues, different context. He needed his bracer to call a ride home, it was what made him part of the Bureau. 

But he didn’t care. It wouldn’t be the Bureau without the Reclaimers anyway.

“Take it.”

And suddenly his wrist felt lighter, and the familiar grip of the metal was gone. It was another small heal, Taako moving ever so slightly as the cuts on his face healed over. Merle seemed no different.

“Come on, come on.” Angus muttered under his breath, quickly putting his wand back around his neck and spinning the wheel again.

“Body.”

“Hmm. Since you’ve got twigs for a body I can’t exactly take anything from you in terms of vitality. How about this? You’ll take on an injury for one of your friends. Of my choice, of course.”

Angus looked at the mortal wounds impressed onto his friends.

“Deal.”

There was a small clinking noise as something tiny bounced off of Angus’ foot. He looked down at the strange object. And after a second he realised it was a screw. And then he threw himself backwards.

He wasn’t quite fast enough, of course he wasn’t, the thing was almost as big as him. It landed squarely on his left leg, and the pain was agonising. White spots flashed in front of Angus’ eyes, and he tried to ignore the clear fracture he was sure he’d gotten. Angus screamed, just once. It was long, and loud, but it was singular, and then it was over.

He heard Taako shift, finally moving his hand from his middle, finally gaining some consciousness. Angus pushed the machinery off his leg using a mage hand, nowhere near strong enough to do it himself, and hauled himself back up to his feet. He spun again.

“Hand.” Angus said, between ragged breaths.

“After all that pain, I’m not going to get rid of any fingers Angus. I don’t think you could handle it. But if you take this sacrifice, you’re going to lose some… feeling. Your hands won’t be your own, if you understand. No pain, no heat, no feeling at all.”

Angus said his answer before even thinking about it. “Deal.”

“Oh. Okay.” Lydia said, clearly a little taken aback by this answer not requiring any debate. “You’ll be taking the hands from one of our little mannequins down there.”

Sure enough, a mannequin walked up to Angus, hand extended to shake. Angus looked at its fingers for a moment: splintered, and larger than his own. He regretted it for a moment, but shook the hand.

It was something he didn’t think he’d ever be able to explain the feeling off. One moment there was feeling and then there was just… nothing. Not even numbness. Just an absence. Angus looked down at his hands, rough wooden marionette fingers bending to his thoughts. But he couldn’t feel them move. He tried to hold onto his wand, but couldn’t tell how hard he was holding onto it.

He reconsidered for a moment, and then he heard Merle take a breath. A shuddering, pained breath. He grabbed the wheel again, with some difficulty as fingers misjudged and slipped off from the handle. He spun, with noticeably less speed than the previous spins.

“Mind.”

“Oh, my dear Angus. Your poor little brain box is taking quite the beating isn’t it? I’m afraid I’m going to have to be more specific with memory problems. Your family is far from ideal, and I’m going to give you a window out. You’re going to forget everything your father did.”

“Everything?”

“All the bad. All the good. All the everything. What’s worse Angus? A kid with no parents, or a kid with a single bad parent?”

Angus tapped his fingers on the wheel, trying to focus on the sound knowing that the sensation was non existent. It was a lot to lose. It was a lot to leave behind, a lot he’d worked hard to get past.

He sighed. He’d given up so much for his new family. And it was a chance to finally walk away, to cut all those ties that hurt him. Fuck it.

“I’ll do it.”

And just like that, Angus’ father vanished. He could not remember great swathes of his childhood. His fuzzy edged memory was getting fuzzier and vague. In a moment of panic he took a pen from the ground, and quickly wrote something on his hand. _You chose to forget your dad. Don’t try to remember him._

Merle sat up, and he retched. Angus could hear it, but didn’t turn around to look. He simply spun again.

“This is most spins we’ve had in one go! I wonder what you’ll get.” Lydia said joyfully as the wheel continued to spin.

“Mind again.”

“Well, we’re going to give you a phobia-” Lydia started her speech, but Angus didn’t let her finish.

“I’ll do it.”

“Don’t you want to know what-” Lydia began, but Angus was already spinning again. A flash of cold ran over him as he watched the colours twirl.

“Skull.” Angus said.

“Bad luck.”

“Yes.” Spin again. “Skull.”

“Angus.” Taako said weakly, but Angus ignored it, nodded and spun again.

“Skull.” Nod.

“Angus stop.” Taako repeatedly, slightly stronger.

Another spin. “Skull.”

“That’s some serious bad luck there kiddo.” Lydia almost sounded worried, but not quite.

“Whatever it takes to help my friends, ma’am.” Angus said. He tried to spin again, but found he couldn't. His hand wouldn't raise from his side, wouldn't land on the wheel again. He couldn’t feel if his hand was caught on anything, so he looked down at it in with air of irriatation.

There was a hand was holding his. And that hand belonged to Taako.

“Ango. Fucking stop. That’s enough.” Taako said with some harshness to his voice.

“But I need to-” Angus tried to pull his hand away but Taako pulled harder, dragging Angus from the wheel. “But Merle!”

“Can fuckin’ deal with it.” Taako said, walking away from the wheel with single minded determination.

“He’s still-”

“Alive. And thanks for that or whatever, but we have lost enough to that fucking wheel. What the fuck are you even doing here? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“I… I, uh… Wanted to help you.” Angus said, suddenly realising how stupid that sounded now he was face to face.

“Well at least someone is.” Merle grumbled, slowly getting up and wandering over to the two, brushing some wood chips off his shirt.

And something inside Angus seemed to light up deep within him.

There they stood, side by side after all the work he went through to find them. They were alive, and they were _here_ and they were talking to him. Things he’d wanted for so long it felt like he’d wanted them since birth. And they each held one of his hands, and although he couldn’t feel the touch, he felt it another way.

A plume of white smoke escaped from Angus.

It was a thing that had not been seen in Wonderland in many years. And it shouldn’t have been surprising,all things considered.

After all, how many people experienced love in a place like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting while the iron's hot or whatever.
> 
> If you read this early I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes: it's late and I posted without remembering to proofread. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes.
> 
> Thanks again to a-dragons-rose and PetalSpitter.


	6. What did you roll Angus?

There was a moment where Angus could almost forget where he was. Lydia, for the first time since he’d met her, seemed to be left speechless.

“Where’s Magnus?” Angus asked, in a whisper.

The way Merle and Taako looked at each other said more than they could hope to say with words.

“Th-that’s ok. I can save him, if I just…” Angus turned back towards the wheel, but both Merle and Taako held fast to his hands.

“Thing is kid, there ain’t anything to save.” Merle said, with his usual level of tact. 

“What-” Angus began to say, but Lydia’s voice interrupted him.

“Now this all very touching boys, but you’re forgetting something important.”

“What’s that?” Merle grumbled, furrowing his brow at the sight of black smoke.

“In Wonderland, you don’t leave until you have your prize. And correct me if I’m wrong, only one of you has their prize, correct?”

A spotlight flipped on, directly over Angus. He winced, and raised a hand to cover his eyes from the glare.

“We run a very tight ship here in Wonderland, and we don’t appreciate last minute cast changes. But you never know, a mix up of the formula might do our ratings some good. Angus alone has really brought some fresh blood to the place, and awful lot of it ended up all over our floor.”

Angus found it hard to concentrate on Lydia’s voice. There was something else. Something small he could hear beneath her words.

“We understand you’ve given a lot to Wonderland, but if you’ve got more to give, it means you’re not done.”  
_Tap._  
“Fighting and body parts are all well and good but we’ve got an audience to please boys. There’s sacrifices we have planned on a scale you can’t even comprehend. We’ve barely even scratched the surface!”  
_Tap._  
“Now we’re going to keep going through Wonderland, and doing our challenges, until all three of you have done enough to get out of here. Angus will show you how, he understands how it works.”  
_Knock._  
”If you three leave right now, the next round will be a little softer on you. A transition round, if you will.”  
_Knock._  
“All of you. Leave. Now. Go. Out of the room.”  
_Slam._  
“Wait, what? Don’t do that!”  
_SLAM._

And with that last slam, something came through the metal wall. And Angus recognised it as the tip to the minute hand of a clock tower. It sheared through the wall in one smooth move, pushed by the one person Angus knew could wield the Chance Lance.

“Magnus!” Angus had another plume of white smoke escape from his mouth. Even as he took note of the whiter hair and the misshapen glove, Angus could do nothing but beam. The human rushed into the room, smiling at Merle and Taako before noticing Angus.

“Angus?” He asked, his voice a note gruffer than usual. He dropped the Chance Lance with a clatter, and rushed over to the boy, and wrapped his arms around him. Angus felt swamped, and he felt safe, and there was something nice about it.

“What are you doing here? I’m the one who rushes in.” Magnus said. Angus laughed into his chest, drawing his arms tighter around the man. He still smelt of pine and rust. 

“I came to save you Sir!” Angus’ voice was brighter than it had been in hours, and each word sent out waves of white smoke.

“And you came here? You’re dumber than you look Angus.” Magnus said. The hug had lasted quite a while, but Magnus didn’t let go. Maybe he needed this more than Angus.

“It was for you, it’s okay Sir!” Angus said, patting Magnus as a signal that he wanted to step away.

“I just can’t believe you played all their games here Angus. It must’ve been quite the ordeal.” Magnus said, still hugging the boy.

“I suppose.” Angus said, patting Magnus again with slightly more force.

“Even the wheel of sacrifice?” Magnus’ voice was cold.

“Y-yes.” Angus stuttered, trying to pull himself away. Magnus’ arms were quickly changing from comforting to suffocating.

“What did you roll Angus?” Magnus asked.

“You’re hurting me S-Sir, please let me go.” Angus said in a slightly desperate voice, pushing harder against Magnus. It was hard to breathe in this tight embrace, and every slight move by Magnus sent shooting pains up and down his shattered leg.

“Angus. What. Did. You. Roll.” Magnus breathed into Angus’ ear, sending shocks of fear down his spin.

And suddenly a lot of things became very apparent to Angus. Taako and Merle were more quiet than they’d ever been, especially for seeing their friend they’d thought was dead. Edward had not said anything in such a long time. Mangus almost never called him Angus: Ango, D’angus, shortstuff, kiddo, pup, almost anything but his name.

“Skull.” Angus said.

And then the animus bell rang.

Angus had felt pain before. He’d felt it just moments before. He’d felt it from being thrown off a train. This was like he’d been thrown off the train and landed on one inch of his chest. The force pushed him backwards, but Magnus’ arms caught him and stopped him.

Except they didn't. Angus kept moving. His body did not. The numbness spread from his hands, creeping across his body like an advancing tide. The pain in his leg faded, but so did the warmth and blood flow. He didn’t even feel numb. He felt nothing. The bright neon lights of Wonderland began to fade into shades of grey, and Angus felt his soul drifting away from his body. That was his body wasn’t it? That tiny thing, with that leg that was nearly torn in two and those hands made of old wood. He watched the back of his body in the arms of Magnus: no, not Magnus, Edward. The outline of the the elf was made out of a shifting flickering line of neon, and it was hovering over Magnus like a gleeful puppeteer. 

Angus watched his body go limp, collapsing like a doll with broken stand. His knees knocked against each other and his head rolled against Edward’s chest. He watched Merle and Taako shout out something, but didn’t hear it. Angus couldn’t hear anything, not the dance music, not the ringing that had been in his ears for so long he’d stopped noticing it. He watched Taako’s face burn with rage and Merle’s turn ashen beneath a bushy beard matted with blood. 

He was drifting, away from the room and into something terrible, he was sure. There was a tear forming in this plane, and he was drifting inexorably towards it. 

But something lucky happened.

A hand wrapped around Angus’, and it pulled him away. It was not into the same grey plane of reality. He was not kept in Wonderland either, as far as he could tell.

Angus had a teacup in his hand. He could feel it: the weight and the heat, the cracks in the porcelain and grit of the pattern. He was sitting in a tall and comfortable chair, facing a table piled high with finger sandwiches and small cakes. A teapot, decorated with a blue pattern of mongooses running in a field, sat beside him. 

And sat opposite him at the table was a red robe.

“Hi. Care to join me for some tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PetalSpitter and Rose for this one!
> 
> And I'm sorry.
> 
> I know it's a lot.


	7. Change places!

There wasn’t any sound for a moment. Angus had so many questions buzzing in his head they were crashing into each other. The one that got out wasn’t the one he should have asked.

“Shouldn’t we be playing chess?” Angus asked.

“Excuse me?” The Red Robe seemed very confused by this. It was hard to tell. There was a vague shape of a face beneath the red cloak, it’s only distinct feature being a pair of square glasses.

“It’s just that… isn’t that what you do in tête-à-tête?”

“Tête-à-tête? Kid, we’re just having tea. U-Unless you don’t like tea? I can get you hot chocolate or somethin’. I can really make anything you want. I didn’t have a lot of time to put this place together.” The red robe manipulated some white smoke, producing a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. 

“Oh, it’s very nice Sir. Or, oh, ma’am? I don’t want to be rude.” Angus held tight to the tea cup, breathing in the warm steam. The tea smelt flowery and familiar in a way Angus couldn’t quite place.

“Right. I forgot. Name’s Barry.” The red robe leaned over the table, holding out a spectral hand shake. To Angus’ surprise, it didn’t pass through his. It felt cold and boney but it was definitely real. It was a kind of cold Angus had felt a few times during his time in Wonderland.

“You’ve… you’ve been following me?” Angus asked.

“No! Not exactly. Been following the… uh… I think they call themselves the “Tres Horny Boys” now?” Barry rubbed at his eyes, pushing his glasses out of the way. “God what a stupid name. They really do need supervision.”

“If you’ve been trying to hurt them-” Angus said, placing down his cup of tea and going to grab his wand. His missed, and fumbled, and realised he still couldn’t feel his hands.

“I’m not! I'm probably the only person within a hundred miles who’s not trying to kill them.” Barry said.

“But you’re a red robe. You made the relics, you’re the bad guys!” Angus shouted.

“Depends who you ask.” Barry said. “Do you not want your tea?”

Angus looked down at his tea cup. It looked a bit different now, as though the pattern had moved when he’d looked away. There were seven birds on the cup, flying in a strange formation. 

“Oh. No thank you.”

“Are you sure? You’ve had a rough time of it, it’s important to keep those fluids up.” Barry said.

Angus shrugged, and sipped the tea. This man could have let him die, poisoning the tea afterwards seemed rather excessive. “Sir, can we talk about the fact you made a relic?”

Barry sighed. “I’d rather not. I can’t say how sorry I am that it did this to you.”

“You made the Animus Bell?” Angus said with a start. Some of his tea went down the wrong way and he began to cough.

If a faceless lich could blush, this one did. “To be completely honest, it was because I had to.”

“Why did you have to?” Angus asked, leaning forward.

“You won’t believe me.”

Angus looked around the tea room in another dimension, and then shot Barry a look.

“That’s fair.” Barry conceded. “It was to stop something much more dangerous than the relics. And I mean, hundreds and thousands of times more dangerous. Made the relics look like nothing.”

“How can anything be worse than-”

Angus’ question was interrupted by a loud crash that made him flinch. Barry rolled his eyes somehow.

“That’d be Magnus.”

Angus spilt some tea as he jumped in his seat. “That isn’t Magnus, that’s…”

“That awful male lich is in Magnus’ body. But I’m not talking about Magnus’ body.”

Barry created a crystal ball in the middle of the table, some of the cakes and sandwiches fading into more white smoke. And the scene Angus had seen only moments ago filled the ball.

His own body was completely limp, slung over Magnus’ back in a fireman’s lift. Taako and Merle were mid battle, the umbra staff spewing a stream of boiling water at Magnus in an explosive blasts. Merle was trying to call on some godly power, but his usual golden glow was flickering and shuddering like it was broken.

None of this was what Angus noticed.

He noticed a mannequin, which had run at full speed towards Magnus and slammed him into a wall. It was trying to climb over Magnus, and was grabbing at Angus’ body the best it could.

“Is that Magnus?” Angus asked in disbelief.

The mannequin was thrown backwards, landing in a pile of other mannequins. It tore off a set of arms from another mannequin and charged at Magnus again.

“That’s Magnus.” Barry and Angus said together, unsurprised.

“Same thing that happened to you happened to him. Luckily Merle and Taako got him into a body before he got sucked into the Astral Plane. You’re lucky I had enough energy to make this place for you.”

“You made this whole place for me?” Angus was a little shocked.

“Well, you certainly helped me do it. You and me, we have something in common.” Barry said.

“What’s that?”

“We’re powered by something a little less bleak than suffering.” Barry said, indicating the white smoke. “Love’s much more effective than suffering.”

“Thank you Sir.” Angus said, finishing his tea. He placed his cup down carefully. “This is all very nice, but I need to go and save my friends now.”

“No. I’ll take care of them, kid. You need to take it easy. You’ve done enough.” Barry said, getting up. Angus grabbed his sleeve.

“With all due respect Sir, I’ve helped them more than you have and they can’t even see you.”

“You’re eight.” Barry said.

“Eleven.” Angus replied, dryly.

“Eleven. You’re too young for this. I’m not having that damn bell hurt any more innocent people, and quite honestly, you’ve taken more of a beating than I’d give my worst enemy. If I hadn’t faded that treant’s armour you would’ve died way back in round three.”

“They have my _body_.” Angus said. “They have my family. I… I can’t just sit here. I have to help them.”

Barry seemed to consider this.

“I can’t promise you a good body.”

“I understand that Sir.”

“You might never get your own body back.”

“I understand that too Sir.”

“Please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I…” Angus didn’t understand. “Oh?”

Barry got up, swept around the table, and knelt down to Angus’ level. “Again, I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“Oh, that’s ok Sir.” Angus said. “My grandpa always said a sincere apology is all a gentleman needs.”

Barry hugged Angus. It was a cold embrace. “You sure are somethin’, aren’t ya kid?”

Barry let go of Angus, and began to fade the room around them. Swirling white clouds replaced the tearoom, billowing around him in a personal hurricane. Angus’ chair ceased to exist, so he stood in front of the red robe.

“This is probably gonna really fucking hurt.” Barry said. Angus nodded, a little nervously.

“You got any questions before I throw you back in the deep end?”

Angus thought for a second.

“Why are you wearing glasses? You don’t have eyes, or ears to hold them up, is all.”

The tempest around Barry let up for a moment as he considered his answer.

“My girlfriend thought they were cute.”

And Angus woke up.

He was in Wonderland again. This was slightly different, most likely a room outside of the chamber he’d been left in before. There was someone lying next to him: an adventurer who was extremely dead. He had a chunk missing from his neck that was bleeding heavily, and Angus turned away to avoid being sick.

Angus hurt, sure, but it was the wrong kind of hurt. His legs were fine, and his hands had sensation even if most of it was pain. His chest fizzed like a firecracker when he breathed too heavily. Angus’ skin was a shade humans weren’t, which was a bit of a shock. He walked over to the reflective wall and could barely believe what he saw.

He was small, and had long pointed ears. A few loose teeth were visible when he closed his mouth. He was carrying a small sword, and a backpack full of loose gold and stolen garbage. Angus coughed, and tested out his new voice.

“I guess... here be gerblins.”


	8. Hello sir

Angus got his supplies together. He dumped the useless weight from his bag: gold coins and pieces of scrap metal rolling out across the floor. Whoever this body had belonged to, they hadn’t been packed very well at all. There was some jerky in there. Angus wasn’t typically a fan of jerky, but a ravenous hunger overpowered those thoughts. He shovelled the jerky in his mouth in a disgusting slop, chewing hard with teeth that ached and wobbled. This gerblin liked jerky, and apparently that passed over.

Still chewing at the jerky, Angus rifled through the pockets of the adventurer that had died next to him. He mumbled sorry through a mouthful of food, pulling out a decent magic wand and a dagger. He tucked the dagger into his boot, and placed the wand in his back back, preferring the weight and sharpness of his sword.

Angus placed the bag back on his back. And he realised he had no idea what to do next. 

Find the boys. That was the priority.

Angus looked around the room, taking note of the tall cylindrical rooms placed throughout the vast space he was in. The one closest to him has some names on the top that Angus didn’t recognise, and another one had the names “Rowan, Atonia and Lord Sterling” on it. So contestant chambers, if he were to guess. The goblin he was inhabiting must have been in a room that had since vanished. But if the room was gone, why wasn’t the goblin or their fellow adventurer? That seemed oddly messy for these elves who were so focused on the appearance of their suffering factory.

Angus was aware of the sound of furious fighting echoing around the chamber, coming from one particular column. Occasionally he’d hear Taako’s customary high pitched screams, or the clatter of wood hitting metal. Angus made his way over towards the sound, padding carefully through the room so not to create any other noise.

Eventually Angus came across the column with his own name on the top, with the loud sounds almost unbearable this close. Angus placed a hand on the metal wall of cylinder, feeling his touch reverberate through the it. There was no door, there weren’t even seams in the metal. Angus wasn’t sure where to start, and was about to rifle through his bag for his newly acquired wand when he was aware of the wall feeling… wrong. The metal was turning a yellowy white, scratched with black lines. Angus stepped back, and realised the metal was turning into paper. No… more than paper… Angus recognised the font, the chapter titles forming at the top of each page.

They were pages of Caleb Cleveland.

And just as that realisation hit him, the wall of paper did too. The wall folded, a wave of thick paper washing over Angus and knocking him off his feet. He quickly pulled himself out of the pile of paper sheets, pushing as many of them as he could to one side. He watched Merle sprint (well, waddle quickly) out to a point behind one of the other cylinders, followed by a mannequin which was dragging Taako along. Taako was staring at his umbrella in silent disbelief, his feet sweeping through the paper as he was pulled after the mannequin.

The three of them crashed behind a cylinder, hiding from the room they had originally been in. Angus realised how much danger he could be in, and suddenly snapped around to look at the room.

The twins weren’t there. Magnus’ body, and his own body, weren’t there either. There was a wheel of sacrifice, buried in paper now, and nothing else. Another set of remains that was not erased. Just abandoned, without interest. 

Angus was going to investigate the room closer, but he overheard a conversation.

“Holy shit, what the hell was that? I didn’t even know you could do that.” Merle said, in between heavy breaths.

Taako let a out a strained, mad giggle. “N-neither could I? I mean, that was some baller transmutation, totally on purpose.” Taako wrung his umbrella, seemingly unsure.

“Why’d you go for paper? Some weapons would’ve been kinda useful.” Merle said.

“I dunno my man. I was mad, and I guess I was just… thinkin’ about Ango.” Taako’s voice caught, and he gripped tighter onto his umbrella.

Angus snuck closer, and finally caught sight of Magnus. The mannequin was sat against the curved wall, holding something tight in it’s hands. It was something small and blue. It wasn’t until Angus caught sight of the red feather sticking out of it that he realised what Magnus was cradling.

“My hat.” Angus said, without thinking. The three of them looked up at him. Angus suddenly remembered that he was not himself, but a random gerblin with a sword who had blood all down his front.

The boys didn’t seem to have the energy to attack. The didn’t seem to have the energy to stand. They sat by the tall metal wall, and looked evenly at the gerblin.

“Leave. Get out while you can.” Taako said, not looking up from his umbrella.

“But I-” Angus began to say, but Merle interrupted.

“Fuck off.”

Angus rallied, and tried again. “I’m-”

“Can’t you see this isn’t a good time?” Magnus’ voice came from the mannequin, snapping like the branch of a tree. “We’re not interested in whatever the fuck you’re selling, so move along.”

Angus was so surprised and relieved to hear Magnus, he couldn’t help himself.

“Oh, hello Magnus Sir! I’m so very glad you’re not dead.”

The three of them sat up with a jolt, staring at him with intense surprise.

“...Ango?” Magnus asked, getting up from the floor to approach the gerblin. Angus held out the sword to Magnus, offering Magnus the handle.

“I… uh… had some help getting into a new bod. I hope that’s ok?” Angus said, nervously.

The mannequin swept Angus into a hug. Angus dropped the sword in surprise.

“I thought I was too late. Oh Ango, I’m so sorry, I tried to get up to tell you it wasn’t me but I couldn’t move my dumb wooden body and by the time I could you were already falling because of that fucking bell-”

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Angus said, patting Magnus’ shoulder. And although Angus knew Magnus couldn’t feel it, the mannequin let go and crouched to his level.

“Hang on Pinocchio. We don’t know this random chump is Ango. How the hell did he get a new body? You barely got one with the two of us dragging your ass into the living plane.” Taako said, hauling himself to his feet.

Angus did not have the patience to go through being considered a fake twice.

He pointed at Merle. “You’re Merle Highchurch, a cleric who works for the Bureau of Balance. You have Kenny Chesney tattoo on your butt and you said you’d kill me with an adamantium spanner if I ever told anyone about your secret planetside meetings.”

He pointed at Taako. “You’re Taako, from TV, a wizard who works for the Bureau of Balance. Everything you drink tastes of key lime gogurt and when you found out I was working for the Bureau you said that you thought I’d died on the Rockport Limited.”

He pointed at the mannequin, who was now holding his sword. “You’re Magnus Burnsides, a fighter who works for the Bureau of Balance. You got that scar over your eye from a fight you had when you were drunk and you tore my shirt off when I went to a wrestling match with you at Chaos Stadium.”

Angus pointed to himself. “I’m Angus McDonald, a seeker for the Bureau of Balance who’s also the world’s greatest detective which isn’t bragging, because I really am. I solved the Rockport Limited case, I helped you with Lucas’ lab. I came here to save you and I’m not leaving until I do it with the Animus Bell in my little boy hands.”

And as though on cue, the animus bell began to ring.

All four of them froze, bracing themselves for a strike that never came. Instead, the lights emitted from the various cylinders turned off. The music stopped. All the lights were drawn to the catwalk, which lay up a flight of stairs that began near them.

“Aw hell. I don’t want to go back up there, I ate shit last time.” Merle grumbled.

“That’s where the bell is. That’s where we’re going.” Angus said, gritting his teeth in determination.

“Here’s a crazy idea: fuck the bell. I’m done. If I can leave, I’m fucking doing it.” Taako said, pointing his umbrella at the wall. He seemed to concentrating quite hard. “And now I’m out of fucking spell slots?! Fuck this place.”

“Oh, hang on sir. I can fix that, I think.” Angus said, rifling through his bag. He took out the wand, and without thinking, snapped it in half over his knee. He dropped the pieces on the floor, and sighed in relief when the umbrella turned inside out and ate them. Taako didn’t look any better, but he seemed slightly energised. He aggressively pointed the umbrella at the outer wall of Wonderland and said some mumbled incantation.

A patch in the wall, about the size of a dinner plate, turned pale yellow and paper like. Then it jittered, flickered, and then turned back into a normal wall.

“Of course. Why the hell would that work twice?” Taako sulked, storming towards the stairs. “Let’s go get our asses kicked, i guess.”

“We can do it Sir, we’re the good guys!” Angus said, walking over to Taako.

“Alright, I get it, you’re Ango. Reel it in a little. I get it.” Taako shrugged, walking up the steps.

“Hang on, I’ve got it!” Magnus said, straightening out the hat in his hands before placing it on Angus’ head at it’s usual jaunty angle. “That’s some prime Ango there.”

Merle nodded. “That’s a solid Angus. Be better with the glasses though.”

“I got this hat off of him while fighting a goddamn lich, Merle, I’m not a miracle worker.” Magnus said, patting Angus on the back and heading up the stairs.

Angus took the dagger from his shoe, took a deep breath, and followed them up the stairs.

As they climbed, the silence became deafening. Wonderland, a place defined by music and screams, was completely quiet and dark. Every now and then there was a quiet bang of someone trying to escape their chamber, but it was otherwise silent. It was worse without the dance music.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Angus was confused by what he saw. There were the two liches, but they were clad in black robes. Edward was still possessing Magnus, but his figure seemed to burned over him, fully visible over Magnus' form. Between them, Angus saw himself. His body, lying motionless in the air between them, arms and legs sagging down towards the ground. The liches were channelling something, were casting some powerful spell that drew in black and white smoke and encircled his body.

“Hey, leave our boy alone!” Magnus yelled, charging towards them at full speed. One of the liches raised a finger in their direction. And they were planted to the spot, unable to move from the knee down.

“Smooth move, Maggie, ever heard of the element of surprise?” Taako grouched, pulling at his feet with both hands.

The liches took no notice of this, remaining focused on their spell. Angus tried to identify what kind of spell it was, but could only discern one out of every ten words. He didn’t know enough about magic to figure it out.

But maybe it should have been obvious. The way they placed gentle and reassuring hands on Angus’ shoulders as the spell ended. The fact Angus’ own neat clothes were replaced with a black suit, with a lily in one pocket. The eyes that looked into the faces of the liches that were tinged with grey.

“Who are you?” Angus asked, the cold numbness of being without a body prickling through his skin.

Angus’ body stood up and smiled at Angus.

“My name is Keats,” he said, straightening his tie. “Hello Sir.”


	9. Game over

“Oh our dearest Keats.” Lydia said, turning Angus’ chin with long skeletal fingers so he faced her. “We’ve missed you so, so much.”

“Our trio’s been down its best player.” Edward said, turning Keats towards him with Magnus’ thick calloused fingers. Magnus’ body embraced Angus’, something which the mannequin and gerblin that Magnus and Angus had become both riled up at.

“Edward? Lydia?” Keats looked at them each, brow furrowed as he tried to make out their faces. “What the fuck happened to you?” 

“Oh, excuse us. Fashion won’t wait for the undead.” Lydia said with a smile, clicking her fingers.

Magnus, Lydia and Angus were dressed in matching suits, chequered with red and black. They were sewn with hearts, spades, clubs and diamonds, even sporting them as the cufflinks. That wasn’t all that changed: Magnus’ hair was curled and long, his sideburns clipped to a more refined length. His teeth were a sterile white, and all traces of blood were removed from his face. Angus looked paler under the lights, and his wild mop of hair was straighter. Keats inspected his new look.

“Why’d you put me in this one?” He pointed at Taako, who was still pulling frantically at his feet, “That’s the only one with anything close to a sense of style.”

Taako flipped them off before going back to pulling at his legs.

“No need to be rude. I’m a child you know. I’m sensitive.” Keats said, picking at a fleck of dust on his tie.

“Leave our kid the fuck alone!” Magnus bellowed, raising his mannequin hand in front of him. After a second of nothing happening, the Chance Lance wrenched off of Edward's back, sending him off balance and toppling through Lydia. The lance flew into Magnus’ hand, making a distinct _clink _as a small chunk of wood was bitten out of the wooden hand. Magnus immediately began chipping away at the floor around his feet in the hope of freeing himself.__

____

____

Keats was pushed by the stumbling Edward, losing his footing. He didn’t fall off his feet, correcting his balance in time. But his eyes snapped open, and he shouted a sharp cry. Edward and Lydia rushed to help him, but he raised a single, shaking hand.

“What did you do to me?”

“We had to give you a body that was instilled with love, darling-” Lydia started, but Keats snapped his fingers. The sound was dull, the wooden fingers not allowing much sound.

“What didn’t you fix it? Am I just not worth that?” Keats snapped. He grabbed Lydia and Edwards ties, pulling them closer. “You already let me die once, and when you finally get around to saving me, you give me this _shit_?”

The twins seemed lost for words, talking over each other as they tried to explain their situation.

Angus cleared his throat. “Excuse me Sir?”

Keats snapped to look at Angus.

“If you don’t want that body, I’ll happily take it back.”

Keats smiled that hollow smile again, and limped over to Angus. That crushed leg was already bleeding through the suit, dragging behind like a discarded coat tail.

“You lived like this?” Keats asked, drawing close to Angus.

“Well, I didn’t always. They did this to me?” Angus pointed nervously at Lydia and Edward, who carefully tucking their ties back into place and straightening their suits awkwardly.

Keats smile fell. “The leg?”

Angus nodded, trying not to notice as Lydia and Edward seemed worried at this response.

Keats lifted his hands up, flexing the fingers in a complex pattern. He raised an eyebrow at Angus, who nodded in response. Edward and Lydia appeared next to them, seemingly not moving.

“And… these terrible eyes?”

“Those were kinda goofed before I got here, but-” Edward clamped his hand over Angus’ mouth, and Magnus’ palm was big enough to cover most of Angus’ face. It still smelled of the lavender polish Magnus worked into Railsplitter’s handle.

“Being a lich is a full time job, Keats. We’ve got to make ends meet, and free love’s a big fat lie.” Edward said, holding tight onto Angus, who struggled to keep a hold on his dagger. He didn’t want to hurt Magnus, but he tried to keep in mind that this wasn’t Magnus. Magnus wouldn’t do this.

“This kid signed up for all this suffering. Nothing taken without his approval.” Lydia added, placing a hand on Keats’ shoulder. He shook it off.

“You did all this? In my name? What makes you think I would want _any_ of this? These marks are a bunch of chumps, don’t get me wrong.” Keats waved to indicate Merle and Taako, as well as the mannequin that was still chipping away at the floor. “Would I rob them? Yes. Fight them? Sure. Give them a quick and merciful death? No problem. But I don’t torture people. That’s not who I was.”

“It’s been years, Keats, we thought you would never…”

“I _would_ never. I thought you knew me. We were pieces of shit, but this?” Keats indicated the black smoke swarming around the room. “This is beyond anything we were. How could you forget me?”

Angus saw this as a good moment to bite down on the fingers covering his face. He tasted blood before he was finally let go. There was a flash, ever so brief, of a red robe somewhere near him and Angus felt his feet shift from their frozen position. He silently thanked the red robe (what _was _his name?) and jumped onto Keats, pushing him to floor.__

__“Stop! Or I’ll send him back where he came from!” Angus yelled, placing a dagger to his Keats' throat. He saw his own face staring up at him, scrunched up in pain and wriggling beneath a knife._ _

__“That’s your body kid! You kill it, you don’t get a do over.” Edward snapped. Angus took note of the fact Edward wasn’t getting any closer._ _

__“Give me what we came here for.” Angus said, pressing down with the knife._ _

__“They’re not kidding Angus! I can’t heal worth a damn right now!” Merle shouted, seemingly forgetting his feet were frozen in place and falling on his face._ _

__“I don’t care. Give me what we came for.” Angus repeated, ignoring the drop of blood that ran down his own neck._ _

__“Now this kid gets my scene.” Keats croaked. “A merciful death. A simple trade. Good on you.”_ _

__“Let my friends go with the Bell. And I’ll let your brother go. It’s quite simple.” Angus said, staring down at Keats._ _

__“Very good boy detective.” Edward said, in a cold voice. “You’ve really gotten into the spirit of the place.”_ _

__“But you forgot Angus." Lydia’s voice echoed around his head. "You still have a lot of bad luck unclaimed.”_ _

__And the Animus Bell rung once again._ _

__Angus wasn’t in the void. Not for long._ _

__He was looking up into the face of a gerblin who was pressing a knife to his throat. They had switched him back into his own body. And in the moment it took for him to realise this, pain hit him like a speeding train. His leg… Holy crap, had his leg hurt this much before? His hands were so numb and cold, were they were really still there? And…_ _

__Oh gods._ _

__He was going to die._ _

__“Do it. We can always raise another body for our brother.” Lydia drawled._ _

__“No-one’s going to bother for a know it all pipsqueak like you.” Edward echoed her tone, leaning casually against Railsplitter._ _

__There was a series of heavy footfalls that shook the floor. And although Angus couldn’t make out who it was, there was a cold sensation somewhere near his chest and a glimmer of that red. The gerblin was knocked off Angus, and the Chance Lance was stabbed into the ground where he had been just moments before._ _

___Thank you Mister Red Robe._ _ _

__Angus sat up, and peered around. Lydia and Edward were reeling from the mannequin rushing into them, followed closely by another scorching ray._ _

__In Lydia’s hand, there was the Animus Bell._ _

__Angus didn’t wait. He got up onto his feet, ignoring as much of the pain as he could, and leapt for the Bell._ _

__Lydia glanced at him, and frowned. She clicked her fingers and the lights around her suddenly flared up in intensity. Angus’ eyes burned, and he felt the world shift horrifically out of focus. It was like he wasn’t wearing his glasses, but it was worse. The world was reduced to vague shapes and colours, and even that was from him squinting. He didn’t slow down. He just kept going for the glowing silver shape that was held up high. He took a mental note of the amount of bad luck he’d had so far: losing his body, getting it back and his eyes._ _

__She tutted, annoyed at this perseverance. She looked over at Edward: Magnus’ body was thoroughly overwhelmed from the dwarf, elf and mannequin swarming it. She clicked again._ _

__Angus’ leg, already in agony from having had a piece of machinery dropped on it, caught on an uneven step on the catwalk. He was already moving so fast, the momentum wrenched it behind him. There was a distinct snap. The pain was so much that everything went white, and when Angus started having the world snap back into place he was lying on the floor, his ears ringing._ _

__There was fighting somewhere else, somewhere that didn’t matter because it wasn’t where the bell was. Angus dragged himself by his fingertips, wooden nails scratching against the smooth surface. He placed one hand on Lydia’s boot, just glad to have made it that far._ _

__She looked down at him, as though he was mud streaking her boots. She raised an eyebrow, and then stooped down. She grabbed him by the shirt, and lifted him effortlessly. Her illusion of being alive was failing, a ghostly apparition flickering beneath her skin in yellow and pink._ _

__“You want the bell.” She said, holding the bell in front of Angus’ nose with her other hand. He weakly tried to reach for it, but she moved it out of his reach. “But here’s the thing Angus. It doesn’t want you. It spoke to us. It offered us all this! But it’s pretty quiet, don’t you think, for something looking for a new gig?”_ _

__Angus reached for it again, and Lydia shook him, ever so slightly. The pain from his leg escalated again, and he couldn’t help it. He screamed, he called for his friends but they weren’t going to get there in time, he knew they wouldn’t._ _

__“You’ve still got a bit of bad luck to go Angus. Shall we find out what it is?” Lydia said, placing the bell beside her so she could click her fingers._ _

__“No. No, please, no.” Angus whimpered, feeling his body hung from Lydia’s hand as though it was a rope._ _

__She went to click her fingers._ _

__And the Animus Bell rang for the final time._ _

__It felt as though time stopped. Angus put the pieces together slowly, reason creeping through his panic in slow dregs. Lydia and Edward froze. Edward, still possessing Magnus, fell back as though kicked in the chest and floated out behind the body. Lydia, with no body to be ejected from, stayed in place and dropped Angus in a heap._ _

__And holding the Animus Bell was the gerblin, who was possessed by Keats._ _

__Now he could see the spiritual outline of Keats, Angus was surprised to see someone who looked much like him. He was an elf, which explained the additional height and the long ears, but he had the same curly hair. The same knobbly knees and skinny elbows. The same determination in the eyes._ _

__“We’re done with this stupid plane. We’re going to tear it up in the Astral Plane, because these two morons need some goddamn supervision before they break out the thumb screws just to kill time.”_ _

__“... I’m sorry?” Angus didn’t understand what was happening. Maybe it was the pain._ _

__“Don’t sweat it kid. We’ll get out of your hair. Take this dumb bell thing. It’s boring to talk to anyway.” Keats tossed the bell to Angus, who couldn’t help but wince as it flipped through the air and rang several times. Angus caught it after fumbling for a bit._ _

__“I put the big fella back in his body. Couldn’t fix the various… issues with that horror show, but he apparently came in looking like that so it’s his problem.”_ _

__Keats floated over to Angus, and tried to shake his hand even though it passed through. “You’re a solid guy. Look me up once you pass over, could use someone like you in my… projects.”_ _

__As though it was the simplest thing ever, Keats took his siblings each by the hand, and walked through a rift that appeared into the astral plane._ _

__And time resumed._ _

__Angus lay on the floor. It was about all he could manage right now._ _

__“Ango?”_ _

__It might have been the first time Magnus had said it, it might have been the twentieth. Angus felt like he wasn’t really there at all._ _

__“Hmmm?”_ _

__“What happened?”_ _

__Angus held the bell up, careful not to let it ring._ _

__“I won.”_ _

__

__It was a silent ride back up to the moon base. Angus was curled close to Magnus, cradled against the soft feathers of his armour as he slept an unsettled sleep. They had wanted to call down a sphere using his bracer, just to make it clear to the base that he was ok, but the bracer was long gone._ _

__So many things were gone._ _

__And in that moment as Wonderland became smaller and smaller, the only thought was:_ _

__“Thank the gods Angus wasn’t one of them.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done!
> 
> I am planning on doing a sequel at some point, once I get around to planning it out properly.
> 
> Huge thanks once again to PetalSpitter and Rose, without whom this would never have been finished. I hope you all enjoyed this!


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